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‘I couldn’t perform without being high’ – rapper Kush Tracey opens up about the dark side of fame

Kush Tracey
Kush Tracey. PHOTO/Instagram/@kush-tracey

Musician and life coach Kush Tracey has admitted she used alcohol and vapes as a mask to survive social and professional pressures.

The ‘Huwezi ni Dandia’ hitmaker reveals she drank every single day—even before going on air—to numb deep-seated anxieties.

The raw testimony comes as she marks a major milestone of three years of sobriety and spiritual restoration.

In a heartbreakingly honest interview with radio veteran Alex Mwakideu on Tuesday, January 21, 2026, the rapper-turned-life coach revealed that for years, she was a prisoner to daily substance use.

The 31-year-old star confessed that she reached a point where her “normal” was only achievable through a haze of intoxication.

“I loved being high, but I got to a place where I would drink alone,” she admitted.

“I would literally not engage in certain situations unless I was intoxicated.”

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Kush Tracey. PHOTO/Instagram/@kush-tracey

Tracey’s dependency was not a weekend party habit; it was a carefully concealed daily routine.

She described the harrowing reality of carrying vapes and alcohol in her bag at all times, taking “hits” and “sips” before going on air or attending high-profile industry events.

The “rush” provided a temporary shield against the social pressures and anxieties of being in the limelight, but the cost was her mental health.

“Alcohol became a crutch,” she shared.

“It allowed me to feel comfortable around people, but it created unhealthy dependencies and ultimately led to cycles of stress, isolation, and regret.”

The timing of Tracey’s confession is a testament to her progress. The rapper recently celebrated three years of sobriety, a milestone she describes not as a feat of willpower, but as a result of “choosing honesty over numbing.”

Reflecting on her rock bottom, she noted that acknowledging the problem was her greatest challenge. “That was one of the hardest things to do—to accept and admit that I was actually struggling.”

Since giving her life to Jesus Christ in 2019, Tracey has slowly peeled back the layers of her past.

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Kush Tracey. PHOTO/Instagram/@kush-tracey

She revealed that her recovery involved walking away from more than just alcohol; it meant laying down “vapes, sheesha, cigarettes, and pills” at what she calls “the foot of the cross.”

Today, as the founder of the Kush Tracey Initiative, she uses her experience to mentor youth on the dangers of “unprocessed pain” leading to addiction.

Her message to those still in the dark is one of hope: “You are not weak… you are not too far gone.”

As Kush Tracey navigates her fourth year of sobriety, she stands as a stark reminder that even the most confident personas can be a mask for a much deeper struggle.

Maria Wambui

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