Relationships are hard. Keeping them moving requires a lot of combined efforts by the “stakeholders”. At times we find ourselves trapped in the jaws of wrong people. When your relationship reaches a point where the only emotions you’re experiencing are ones of sadness, hurt and an unexplainable need to hold on and never let go, it’s time to let go. It’s time to move on and stop wasting what precious little time you have.
You think about how good it was when it was good and think you’ll never get back there again. When you think back on your past, you can pinpoint when things were so great that you couldn’t imagine it getting any better. You sit and wonder will you ever get back to that again.
You convince yourself that no one will ever know you as well as your past. When you’ve been with someone for some time you begin to know them and they know you. They know all the things that make you happy and all the things that make you angry. That mutual understanding is tough to get back.
You don’t want to put the effort into building something that took years to build before.
Let’s say you were with your ex for 3-4 years, you sit and tell yourself that you don’t want to wait that amount of time to get back to happiness and that mutual understanding. One thing we have to realize is that it will take time and it won’t come easy.
You compare everyone to them. You can’t compare the present to the past, it’s unfair. The present will never match up. Even if that last relationship ended in turmoil, nothing will ever compare until you leave them in the past.
You haven’t ditched the memory of the past. You have to stop thinking about it. You can’t continue to think about the best nap you ever had or that time you all just laughed for hours about a silly inside joke. The memory won’t go away but if you dwell on it then you’re destined for doom.
You forget why you’re not your past. A lot of time when we spend time reminiscing about the past we forget the end. We forget how things ended and why you said you’ll never talk to them again. People have ways of blocking out bad things when they happen to us but try your best not to block out the reasons why you’re not still in your past.
You never stop caring or loving but can’t decipher the difference between “in love” and “love.” One awkward thing about love is that if you really love a person you will never stop loving them.
You may not be in love with them but you’ll still care for them and want the best for them even if it’s not with you. The key is beginning to understand that you can love someone and not be with them. That you can be in love with another person and not in love with your past.
The process of getting over a person you once loved or love is not easy. Your past will shape who you are today and anyone who asks you to forget it is being completely nonsensical.
Do what you can to sunset your past and move to the present. Remember the present is a gift that doesn’t come often. Realize that you can move on past your past to something much better.
