Have you ever had bad s3x?
The lights are low. A fire smolders in the
fireplace. Two wineglasses sit, half empty, on the nightstand. Your clothes lie in a heap on the floor. You reach for each other. The two of you tumble to the bed, and then…..
No explosions of passion. No breathy
proclamations of desire. No tumultuous climax. Then you wonder: How can everyone in movies and romance novels be having fiery, combustible s3x when you and your partner barely create a spark?
I’m talking about a guy who essentially treats your vagina like his hand. I’m talking about a girl who literally just lies on the bed like a corpse with her legs spread.
I’m referring to really awful, get me a gun and shoot me in the f*cking face, would rather put a fiery poker up my ass than ever have this happen to me again s3x.
Grab the popcorns mates, it’s real talk time!
While having bad sex may feel like a massive waste of your time, it really is not. Though our experiences with bad sex are somewhat traumatizing, bad sex is actually the key to having really good s3x.
If you have a bunch of really awful s3xual experiences, it will only make the good ones that much better, and it will make the great ones mind blowing.
Bad s3x sucks, but it can (and will!) teach you a whole lot.
You can learn a lot about yourself after a few nights of sh*tty s3x. You have no choice but to become more selective and demand more for yourself.
Life is too short for bad s3x, bad people and bad experiences. Once you have really awful s3x, you’ll finally know what you want not just in the bedroom but also out of life. Bae Having bad s3x is an education. You learn what you like because you’re learning what you don’t like.
There is nothing like having a guy seize on top of you for a few minutes, leaving you with a limp the next day to teach you you like it slow and steady. There is nothing like a girl grabbing your penis with a grip akin to the Hulk’s to realize you do NOT want that. Once you figure out what you like, s3x will VASTLY improve.
If a guy is bad at s3x, he is not the guy for you. Knowing sooner is always better than later. Bad s3x is enough to put anyone off. If a person is bad at s3x, he or she is probably bad at life, too – ain’t kidding, I swear!
You don’t need to deal with a pillow princess, a starfish, a dead f*ck or a person who thinks baby talk is s3xy. If he doesn’t know what he or is doing in the bedroom, GTFO (google that, if you were born in 80s) immediately. It’s about the biggest red flag there is. If you have bad s3x, you don’t have chemistry. There is no spark, and you will never be able to manufacture a connection. Just get out now.
Once you’ve had enough bad s3xual experiences, you will be fed up with dealing with anything of the sort. You’ll do anything you can to make s3x passable at the very least. If a guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, you’ll tell him. You will know what feels good, and you will ask for it.
Bad S3x lets you take control of your life. You will no longer be inclined to settle for anything less than incredible s3x. The right guy or girl will rock your world because you know what you are looking for. You aren’t going to sit idly by and just deal with whatever is thrown at you. You will demand so much more, and you’ll be much better for it.
If you have bad s3x, it’s easy to think perhaps you are the culprit. Maybe you are the one who sucks, not your partner. That mindset changes once you have great sex. You’ll realize it was definitely not your issue, and you are actually quite the little minx between the sheets.
Bad s3x is like a wakeup call. It’s exactly like a hangover; it’s miserable, but you get over it. You realize you shouldn’t be wasting your time with stupid, pointless sh*t and instead should be focusing on the more important things in life.
You don’t need to spend your time having crappy one-night stands with idiots at the bar. You should be looking for something that is real and satisfying.
It makes you less self-conscious. You didn’t die. You’re free to move on to better s3x. You realize it isn’t the end of the world. It wasn’t that scary. You had it. It happened. It’s over. You understand this was just an experience, and it does not define you. You can go out and face the next thing. No shame.
There is nothing that will make you more grateful for amazing s3x than really dirty, rotten, no-good sex. It gives you something to compare the wonderful experiences to.
If you go your whole life having “great” s3x, you have no frame of reference.
For all you know, the s3x you’re having could be kind of lame, and you’d have no idea. You need exposure to the horrible to truly be appreciative of the fantastic.
