Dating older men (Sponsor) is not new in Nairobi. No. I am not talking 5years gap. Not that. I’m talking about a honking great, could-be-your-parent age gap. What could these pairings possibly have in common? What do they talk about? What attracted them to one another – Apart from the thing that rhymes with ‘honey’?
Just in case you’re thinking of getting serious with a fella quite a few years older or even decades older than you, here are a few things you might want to keep in mind before you get it crackin’.
1. Throwback Vocabulary. Once in a while he will though a post independence qoute to you. He will regularly refer to sex as “getting busy,” or “knocking boots.” Being around him would be like reliving all of the catch-phrases of 1982 coup d’état
2. Throwback Fashions. Now, if he identifies with high waist lingala music pants, then chances are his teenage coincided with early 70s. We all know high waist lingala pants weren’t invented last week.
3. His health. As a rule, the older you are the more health problems you get. We’re all human beings in a state of constant decay. None of us are safe from medical problems. He is 68, what do you expect? A running nose? He might be classed as an OAP and will most likely suffer from the health issues that hit men of a certain age. These problems have to become yours too, because that’s what you choose.
4. Partying. While you’re still in the phase where getting too drunk at bars and partying all night at clubs is acceptable and actually lots of fun, he gets tired by 8:45pm. Its helpless.
5. Mistaken Identity. What could be more uncomfortable than having people mistake your husband for your father? Well, that’s for you yo figure out.
6. Sexual Drive. While he has tones of experience to put many young men to shame, he lacks the drive to take a twentysomething lady to cloud nine. But who cares? That’s what Viagra was made for, and it’s been known to work pretty damn well when used appropriately.
7. Public Scrutiny. Every time you go to a restaurant, the staff will glare at you both — him for being shallow and you for being a gold digger. This may not be the case, but whether it is or not, taking on daily public scrutiny like this is will be be a routine.
