Adelle Onyango has had an interesting weekend. A weekend that has culminated in her and Cyprian Nyakundi going at each other’s throats over some comments Cyprian made about Adelle. The comments were truly offensive and made light of how bad rape is!
This was the comment Cyprian made that made shit hit the fan:
From his post, Cyprian is saying that Adelle is too unattractive to be raped! This despite the fact that psychologists have found that rape is a crime of dominance. So beauty does not come into play when analyzing rape. This was surely a stupid and very insensitive comment from the very controversial Cyprian.
She then responded with her own comment on social media. For the sake of brevity, I have truncated her post. If you want to read the whole of her response please check it out on her Facebook page. She said:
“I dedicate this to anyone who has ever been hurt in the name of masculinity.
I heard in a TED talk that these are the things that society define as what it means to be a man; Do not show fear or weakness; Demonstrate power and control especially over women; Aggression – Dominance; Protector; Do not be “like a woman”; Tough- Athletic – Strength – courage; Make decisions – does not need help; and Views women as property/objects
It is because society tells us that women are objects, not subjects, that when society is presented with a case of male violence or sexual abuse, everyone looks at it from his point of view: “Oh, he must have been provoked to have done that,” “He was a nice man who just snapped,” “He must have been confused by her signals,” “Maybe he’s been falsely accused, how terrible to have to go to jail for that.” With every victim-blaming, rape / violence apologist comment, society reveals through whose eyes it looks, and the answer is invariably the man’s.
Rape is not about sex at all – it is all about objectification, power and control, and it is a crime of violence. I hope this allows you to experience some sort of vulnerability, either mine or your own. For the men that support our causes and realize the bane of the womb, we say thank you, and continue to support us, love us and cherish us, as women for being women, appreciate our intellect, hear our voices and acknowledge our accomplishments for we will continue to spread the message, and keep hope alive that one day we will live in a rape free society.I dedicate this to anyone who has ever been hurt in the name of masculinity.
Soon the day is coming where our femininity as women will be valued in itself and not in its relation to masculinity, it seems today is not that day but until then we keep up the work and keep doing dope things.Adelle”
Adelle’s post is very savvy and dissects the folly in Cyprian’s argument. My only problem with it is the notion that masculinity is responsible for rape. It is like accusing femininity of any bad thing that an immoral woman does to a man. Attack the perpetrator of the crime, not the gender that that crime is done by. But what do I know anyway?
