Eveybody who enjoys a good reda knows who Etemesi and Njoki Chege are and to many these are the two great writers Kenya has ever produce, so today we get to know why Etemesi is regarded to be the best writer over Njoki Chege in his own words
Etemesi writes:
I know I shouldn’t be writing this but I am not new to the art of doing things that I shouldn’t be doing. Ask my dad. To the issue at hand now…… Njoki Chege gets a lot of hate from people who secretly admire her. I am a member of a certain Whatsapp group for bloggers where writers always find it necessary to pour vitriol and curse whenever a new article by the Daily Nation columnist appears on the internet.
The sad thing is that they can never tell her such things to her face. If they happen to meet her, they’ll definitely be like “Hey, Njoki Chege, you are awesome. What can I do to be like you?” Why they do this is beyond my understanding.
I am not a fan of talking smack behind people’s backs and smiling to their faces. I neither love nor hate Njoki Chege. I just respect what she does. She’s good. But the thing is, I am a better writer than her….. WAY BETTER.
Njoki Chege is like Fetty Wap and I am like Nas. I exhibit superior penmanship. She has the hype but I have the content. She can wail in her articles but I can expound on critical issues with linguistic adroitness and intellectual accentuation.
Let me not waste any more time. I’ll give you ten reasons why I am better.
I can do a variety of content, she can only do a single type of content
Njoki Chege can only do societal critiques coated with rants and ridiculousness. I do short stories about my life’s adventures, music reviews, celebrity critiques, satire, business pieces, erotica and give dating advice. When put together, all of Njoki Chege’s articles are just one large cliché, bloated with a litany of throwaway statements.
There is nothing different. She possesses no gift of imagination or introspective pearls of wisdom. Whenever she tries something new, she squanders it like a virgin all over the sheets of a would-be-lovers-bed.
She hides her face, I don’t
Njoki Chege neither has an Instagram or a Facebook account. She only has a twitter account that has no profile picture. There are only two pictures of her on the internet. Pictures that were taken long before people knew her. Photophobic ladies have deep lying issues. They are either ugly or secretive.
Whenever I spot Njoki Chege somewhere, she’s always walking quickly as if she’s being chased by ghosts, or urine is torturing her bladder and she can’t wait to get to the toilet. She’s afraid.
Ideally, not many people have a clue how Njoki Chege looks like. And I am no fan of writers who hide behind their computer screens. If you have strong opinions, always be prepared to defend them. I get hate for some of my articles but I never hide my face.
I might get hate for this article too but I’ll still walk around Nairobi like I own it. I am no coward.
I have been nominated for awards, she hasn’t
Early 2015, I traveled to Lagos for the Social Media Africa Awards where I was a ‘Blogger Of The Year’ finalist. I didn’t win but still….that was something. Last year, I was a ‘Best Facebook Pesonality’ nominee at the SOMA Awards.
The only thing Njoki Chege can been nominated for is Attention Seeker Of The Year.’ Oh my, that’s a low blow, but who cares. I eat low blows for lunch..
I am loved, she is hated
Njoki Chege is a loner. All human beings that have stumbled upon her articles hate her. They respect what she does but they still hate her. Ladies hate her, men hate her, even my dog hates her. As for me, I get hate but I get love too. When I walk from the matatu stage to my house, I get high fives from around 20 ordinary people.
I am talking Kinyozi guys, fruit sellers, makangas etc. All types of people.
They all respect me because they see how I affect the world around me with a signature cool; a sort of protean nonchalance that often reveals a coldly calculating, terrifically ambitious mind. Njoki Chege just jumps from Nation Center to her car and speeds off to her home. Poor soul.
I have a greater work ethic
I churn out at least fifteen quality articles a week across the various platforms that I write for. Njoki Chege only writes one a week. Sometimes, some of her articles aren’t even that good. Personally. if I was given an opportunity to write one article a week, it would go viral all over the world.
How do you have all week to write one article, be accorded all that time to think but still come up with something that only gets 20K views. Not impressive at all.
I am young, she is old
Njoki Chege is thirty something, according to sources close to her. I am just about to turn twenty five. By the time I am her age, I’ll be best in the world at what I do. That’s not a promise. It’s a prophecy.
I believe in working hard, she believes in getting sponsors
Njoki Chege has made it clear that she would like to have a sponsor who would pull strings in her career. That’s a typical lazy human being’s mindset. I can never allow myself to be carried to glory. I have to earn it. I’ll work my ass off until the day I die. I want to be responsible for everything I achieve in this life.
I don’t want another person to take credit for my accomplishments.
She has greater resources but she still under performs
Njoki Chege is like that person whose first car was Mercedes – a gift in the name of Nation Media Group. I am like that person whose first car was a Vitz, then I bought a Mark X and I am now working my way to the Mercedes. She was given a platform to thrive but she never consistently matched that quality.
Too often, she sounds like a cackling, gobbling parody of herself. Meanwhile I have evolved from a dopey cornball to a charismatic cornball capable of putting respectable ideas on paper.
I have changed lives
Hundreds of guys holla to me daily, thanking me for helping them improve their seduction skills through my articles. The only change Njoki Chege has created in this in this world is concocting more depression in the minds of the readers she attacks every Saturday with her sloppy, jumbled mess of opinions.
Her weekly mission is to fabricate a crisis that will lead to division and rancour. As other people try to bring a semblance of sanity to the world, she is busy throwing daggers at innocent people for personal gain. Surely, Donald Trump, Mussolini and her must be from the same lineage.
A contest can prove it
Words are nothing without actions. To prove who is really better, Njoki Chege and I can do a contest where we are placed in a tiny room with no outside interference and told to write something spectacular in twenty minutes. Afterwards, an independent panel of judges or readers get to vote and decide who wrote the better article.
So we’ll get see who the better writer is. That’s my challenge to her if she chooses to accept it.
She probably won’t…well because she’s a coward and the sheriff is the greatest. Even if she does, she might be tempted to ask me for Mwakenya In there….
Njoki Chege: Psssss…..dude. Where am I supposed to put a comma?
Me: LOL
The only person that can compete with ETEMESI is……. ETEMESI himself
