They are the movers and shakers of the music industry and music sung in dialect, so what is killing these talented singers? Salim Junior, Murimi Wa Kahalf, Queen Jane..name them!..R.I.P
What is making them irrelevant and making them lose their mojo? Their touch? Their glory?
Systematically, the creme of the Kikuyu singing Kingdom has been making a fast and saddening disappearing act…
They no longer possess the wizardry they used to boast of, they’re no longer pulling in the massive crowds they once used to, they’ve been used and battered and misused.
The charm is gone… So is the voice, flair, life.
Yesterday, thousands of distraught fans friends, and family congregated in some sleepy village in Subukia, Nakuru County to attend the colorful funeral of a man who came to be famously known as the King of Mugithi, Salim Junior.
Salim had a less than glamorous exit from the World stage.
Years prior to his death, Salim had evolved into a sad shell of his former glorious self. His entry into the world of eroticized Mugithi hit making was brilliant, phenomenal, and historical.
He controlled a huge swathe of the Kikuyu musical landscape, churning out hit after hit, some really unpublishable songs full of the most atrocious sexual innuendo.
So popular was he that H.E the President Uhuru Kenyatta contributed a staggering half a million shillings for his funeral.
Before his death, yet another one passed away, the equally popular Murimi wa Kahalf he who popularized the slang word ‘Momo’ immortalized in his eponymous song ‘Ino ni Momo’.
Wa Kahalf’s death, just like that of most Kikuyu musicians, was shrouded in mystery and controversy.
It also has to be remembered that Murimi was quite young when he died… Maybe as young as Salim Junior.
There’s always a trend of losing some of the brightest and most gifted Kikuyu lyricists, guitarists, vocalists, and vernacular pop stars.
Their causes of death or irrelevance vary… And while some of them are disputed, most of them are actually true and saddening.
1. Alcoholism
After conducting a survey, we were reliably informed that 90% of secular Kikuyu singers are notorious drunkards.
These singers burn all of their earnings in beer dens and trashy dinghies drinking their lives away.
Most of them prefer Makuti clubs where they are said to spend as much as 20,000 on a night of unbridled debauchery.
They are huge lovers of the tipple and most almost always end up drinking away the night’s performance fees after a show, buying massive volumes of beer for the pals, and also sometimes buying beer for the whole club sometimes…
Unable to rein in their irresponsibility in wanton expenditure.
2. Sugar Mamas
Most of these singers, we have come to learn, are sustained and sexually satisfied by a harem of rich Kikuyu women who use them and misuse them as they wish.
These sugar Mamas are said to be the owners of these particular clubs where these musicians play at.
And after a concert, most of these singers retire with the Sugar Mama and they have a lifespan of about 2-3 years before the relationship breaks up.
These sugar Mamas are also said to be cold-hearted, manipulative cougars who control these musicians and sometimes are responsible for their destruction and even death after a nasty breakup or business went wrong.
3. Rivalry
These singers, just like any other batch of vernacular singers, are usually very jealous of each other’s success and mostly end up setting each other up for failure using many dirty tricks that sometimes include witchcraft, poisoning, or even planned murder.
Not wanting to be outshone, their rivals plot death and evil for them thus totally finishing them and eradicating them from the market.
It’s a very dirty, dangerous world surrounded by the most wicked, conniving colleagues with the illest intentions of any soul.
4. Promiscuity
Promiscuity is the habit of having way too many sexual partners and these singers are well known for that.
Given that they make massive amounts of cash, live flashy lives, and perform almost every weekend, these singers, who command a very huge fan base across Central Kenya, mostly end up with many women for sex after their nocturnal shows.
Most of the women who sleep with these musicians are mostly broke, dirty hangers-on… Old, promiscuous freeloaders who sleep with anyone and anything for money or social advancement.
And also, most of these women, including the aforementioned Sugar Mummies, actually have HIV/AIDS and they are responsible for passing on the deadly virus to a section of these famous entertainers.
And we all know what happens when all of these sexual diseases catch up with you…
5. Mismanagement
90% of these singers don’t know how to manage their finances and mostly end up broke and penurious even after a decade of a successful run in the business.
Most of them also, are surrounded by ‘Yes Men’ and way too many freeloaders who live off them, exploiting them and using them for their monies as long as they’re still hot and popular.
Unlike a few of them who’ve ventured into business and made quite a fortune for themselves, some of the Kikuyu musicians have totally disregarded the concept of savings and therefore have ended up lost and mired in debts and an inability to rise up from their obvious financial predicament.
6. Family
Like any typical man who has the means and the abilities, most Kikuyu singers have found themselves with more than one wife and this has been a problem for the smooth running of their careers.
These women who have many children, some legitimate others illegitimate, have been locked up in many wars and brutal matrimonial fights with each other over the love, attention, wealth, and fortunes of their man.
And owing to these fights and cross-wife jealousies, then trouble always crops up and it, in severe cases, leads up to death and dirty tricks meted out against the singer.
