If you are a woman in her 20s, and you do not currently have crushes, you need to reevaluate everything about yourself.
You need to choose crushes over candy crush saga games in your androids. Having a crush — or better yet, having a fleet of crushes — is the best, and it’s especially the best when you’re a grown-a$$ woman.
Before I get into this, let’s first get to know what a crush is. Crush feelings are exhilarating, slightly-nervous-but-never-
A crush is someone you want to kiss. An ideal crush is someone you just kinda see around casually.
You can have a long-con, slow-burn-type crush on someone who’s always at your friend Rob’s parties, or a brief crush on the person who sat next to you for three stops on the Jav.
“But I don’t even know that guy, he’s just a stranger on the jav,” you might say. Who cares! Do you want to put your mouth on his mouth? Yes. He is your crush. Here are reasons why you should have as many as possible
Relationships require work and patience, crushes only require a stirring desire to make out.
Life is a shitshow in your 20s. If you aren’t busy trying to find a job, you’re probably working in one that takes most of your time and all of your energy.
At the end of a long day, you don’t want to have to argue with your BF or GF about who’s apartment you’ll sleep in that night.
What you actually wanna do is some good, old-fashioned tongue tusslin’, you know, swap some spit, mack a little. Kissy kissy. This is what crushes are meant for…You get it?
You will never stay up all night crying over a crush.
A crush won’t break your heart, because you don’t give your heart to a crush. Crushes are for some realistic fantasis. For the 57th time I repeat, you don’t give your heart to a crush; A crush is no longer a crush once you discuss love (or really even just like).
That is a relationship, and that is what we’re trying to avoid here.
You will never be bored if you can locate and identify a crush everywhere you go.
Stuck in the waiting room at the doctor’s office? Bored at a weird party your friend made you come to? Find a crush! Do some eye-flirting. Do some talk-flirting. Do some “oh, did my arm just graze your butt, haha, oops” flirting. Do all the flirting.
Flirting is way better than candy crush saga games that every remotely cool young lady plays in Nairobi.
Dating more than one person is like being a ringmaster at a three-ring circus — having more than one crush is just plain practical.
If you have a team of crushes, you can call in off the bench at any moment; your crush well will never run dry.
Also, having just one crush is agonizing and puts too much pressure on the nonexistent relationship you share. Gotta maintain a well-rounded crush roster at all times.
You never have to tell your crush how you feel about them, because that would be weird, and crushes are best kept as secrets shared among friends.
Saying, “Hey, I like u,” can sort of feel like a contract, and it definitely comes with some sort of emotional responsibility.
If you keep your crush feelings a secret from your crush, you’re totally unaccountable for your actions.
Maybe this seems morally reprehensible, but remember, they don’t have any obligations to you either (except to look hot and stay crushable).
Crushes are secrets, having a crush is only exhilarating and never boring because you’re always wondering, “OMG, do they have a crush on me too?”
That slight dose of jittery, nervous energy you get when you’re around a crush is the best. It’s not quite anxiety, which would be bad, because you know that if your crush doesn’t crush you back, that’s fine! You’ve got other crushes you can focus on. And you can always just find a new one tomorrow.
You can think about how there are probably 69 people who currently have a crush on you without feeling guilty or anything.
You are hot and great and totally crushworthy. There are probably so many people thinking about kissing you RIGHT THIS SECOND.
Crush Land in your 20s is like a merry-go-round of feelings that only ends when you want it to.
