Kerry Washington has recently broken her silence on her battle with suicidal thoughts brought about by her eating disorder.
The actress, who is famous for her role in hit series Scandal, opened up about her eating disorder while speaking during an interview with Robin Roberts.
Kerry said the eating disorder made her think about suicide and wanted to “destroy” herself.
“I could feel how the abuse was a way to really hurt myself, as if I didn’t want to be here,” she said.
Adding; “It scared me that I could not want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
The actress revealed that by the time she went to college her relationship with food had grown out of control.
“My body had become a toxic cycle of self-abuse that utilized the tools of starvation, binge eating, body obsession and compulsive exercise,” she said.
When questioned about suicide, Washington responded, “Yeah. Yeah … The behaviour was tiny little acts of trying to destroy myself.”
The 46-year-old actress noted that prayed for help to overcome her eating disorder.
“The first thing that put me on my knees like the first time I got on my knees and prayed to some power greater than myself to say like, ‘I can’t do this, I need some help’ — was with my eating disorder.”
“The body-dysmorphia, the body-hatred, it was beyond my control and really led me to feeling like, ‘I need help for somebody, or something, bigger than me because I’m in trouble and I don’t know how to live with this’,” she said.
The actress stated that at the moment her eating habits are on check and that she no longer has suicidal thoughts.
“I wouldn’t say that I never act out with food, it’s just very different now. It’s not to the extreme. There’s no suicidal ideation, that is not where I am anymore,” she said.
