Everything the Nyakundi touches fireworks happen and last evening,he went all out on what Bamboo has been pushing for over 10 days! And thanks to Cyprian Nyakundi, audience has come to him.
What is even intriguing is the fact that Ghafla Kenya writer one Janet Chao believes that Bamboo like Camp Mullah are people who glory gave them a slap, their time is over!
The Ghafla Kenya pen girl narrates, her opinion after reportedlyfollowing Safaricom vs Bamboo but wait, how did it turn to Bamboo vs Bob Collymore? Ofcourse he is the man who can pull that cheque in favor of the rapper who has been trying to reclaim his top position in Kenya’s unforgivably shaky industry.
Chao wrote this on Ghafla Kenya after the rants….
Last evening,Twitter loudmouth Cyprian Nyakundi,that broke bloke with only one checked shirt and a face that looks like an abandoned construction site started a futile Twitter hashtag that went #BobPayBamboo. This whole kerfuffle was about some super irrelevant rapper called Bamboo and some CEO of one of the World’s most profitable and phenomenal telecommunications giants,Safaricom.
First,the back story. Around a week ago Bamboo ’emailed’ (LOL) the Nyakundi fellow lamenting over some huge arrears that Safaricom allegedly owed him after ‘selling’ his songs on their Skiza Platform for over 7 years and not having the manners to call him up for a check.
In his affidavit,Bamboo candidly opened up to the clumsy Twitter chatterbox over how,circa 2009,Safaricom included Bamboo’s very profitable music (LOL) on their Skiza Tunes platform and proceeded to fleece him of millions of hard Kenya Shillings.
Bamboo claimed that Safaricom dudes had been selling his content online WITHOUT his consent and active involvement thus enriching themselves stupendously and depriving Bamboo of not just his rights but also his millions of monies.
Hahaha.
And this is where it gets interesting… Bamboo claims that there are four (4) particular songs that Safaricom has been illegally distributing and making money off. And they are ‘Mama Africa’ featuring Akon,‘Yes Indeed’ featuring Rufftone,Karibu featuring Professa Jay and ‘Move On’ featuring defunct pop mess Camp Mulla.
OK.
First and foremost,I have NEVER heard ANY of these songs! I doubt they even exist!
Secondly,all of the chaps that Bamboo collabo’d with are,to be brutally honest,all irrelevant,minimally talented,washed out,lethargic and dead.
Akon is an old story. No one cares about Akon anymore. By 2009,Akon had stopped being an artist. He had run out of steam. And was now some washed-up producer and talent scout whose business now included auditioning high school girls in Atlanta and not making hits anymore.
Akon,just like Bamboo,is a joke. By 2009,they both had lost the plot,lost the mojo,lost the fire,lost the hit making knack and lost publicity. So,a collabo between Akon and Bamboo was bound to be trash. And I am surprised anyone would ever want to buy something so worthless in the first place.
Bamboo also claimed to have spent $150,000 to create that ghost song. That is,Ksh. 15,000,000. 15 million Shillings!?? Oh please! Fuck outta here! For that amount,you could record an album,fund an Asian tour,educate 4 homeless kids and buy yourself a life! Oh please!
The other song was ‘Yes Indeed’ fearing yet another washed out artist Rufftone. At around the time the song was recorded,no one cared about Bamboo. Or Rufftone. And to date,no one STILL cares about either of them. Rufftone stopped shinning the minute his brother stepped into the scene. It was over for him. Brutally over. Who,then,cared about that collaboration? Who in hell did? Did that song even make it on radio? When?
Third song was done with yet another retired star,Professa Jay. OK,the good Professa is a legend. But,has anyone ever heard of this song? Between Bamboo and Professa Jay? Or was it done for the Tanzanian potato hawkers?
Bamboo also claims to have spent Ksh. 200,000 for his Rufftone collaboration! 200,000 you say? What was that money spent on? Buying Rufftone a land? It costs a maximum of Ksh. 25,000 to produce a single in Kenya. Back then it must have been cheaper. This 200,000 nonsense is bullcrap . A story not even frogs can buy. Ksh. 200,000? What did you spend that on? A musical college degree?
And then says he spent some Ksh. 1.5 million shillings to record with Professa Jay. From where? Did Bamboo ever handle that much money ALL of his career!? Or was his music getting funded by the Victoria Kimani Foundation?
Fourth song he says Safaricom has been selling endlessly is,ummm,some stuff he cobbled together with that dead punk ass bubblegum band Camp Mulla.
Camp Mulla died in 2002. Bamboo died in 1998. Why were these two artists doing a song together? Who did they want to sell it to? Old women suffering from dementia? Come on!
Now Bamboo is livid. Furious that,for all of these years,his amazing collaborations with these musical dumpsters has been PROFITING Safaricom greatly. And financially affecting him irreversibly.
And I call Bullshit.
First and foremost,NO ONE buys stuff they don’t know. People buy viral stuff. People download hit stuff. People download hit songs. Not some third-rate regurgitations stitched up by some old,decaying has-beens.
For instance,people are definitely buying Bahati’s music. People are definitely downloading Diamond Platnumz’ music. People are definitely pirating Jaguar’s music. People are definitely streaming Sauti Sol’s stuff. And people are definitely buying Dufla Diligon’s hit ‘Tempo’.
Nobody out here trynna buy Prezzo’s music. No one out here is busy wasting their bundles and time and energy and dignity downloading Mr. Lenny’s music. Or Jimwat’s music. Or Nazizi’s music. Or Marya’s music. Or Kenzo’s music.
No muthafuckin’ person cares! Period!
Now Bamboo,aided by that Twitter numbskull, wants us to believe that millions and millions of people have been endlessly downloading his stuff on Skiza and thus making millions of money for Safaricom.
Oh,what buffoonery!
Bamboo should be glad that Safaricom even allowed his stale material appear on their platforms. God knows I wouldn’t.
Bamboo should stop dragging a Company through mad for relevance sake. He must also STOP using and misusing that Twitter simpleton into helping him crawl back into the limelight,so lamely.
We all know that Nyakundi has had a lengthy Court battle with Bob Collymore over libelous material he has constantly written about him and we can’t trust Nyakundi to be fair and just to Mr. Collymore ever.
Bamboo must also STOP attempting to escape his astounding financial predicaments by demanding for monies that are,at best,non-existent.
You cannot bully your way back into the Industry by picking little,petty fights over stuff you can’t substantiate. If this is Bamboo’s strategy at remaining relevant,He has lost. Big time.
Lengthy,lonely stays in the USA can result to massive mental degradation and we all hope that Bamboo is actually sane. And of not, we pray that some psychiatric can be found for him real soon.
You can’t sell stuff NO ONE knows. Period!
Or has anyone here ever bought any of the four Bamboo songs? Anyone? NO one? OK Good!
Insanity is a disease.
Do you think Ghafla Kenya most ruthless writer is right?Should Bob Pay Bamboo?
Did Nyakundi, involve the wrong subject in the tussle? or is Bob Collymore Safaricom and vice-versa?
