I used to think this was an easy subject until I found myself in a situation after school yet mature and by all signs ready for marriage as age was catching up with me and so many rational aspects considered.
Talking to many of my friends who were in the same situation, the argument was that we are already out of school and should either look for a job first and settle in marriage or get married and look for a job afterwards and/ or both.
It was tough for us women who would have to put up with our parents or kin as we were hopeful to either find a job, stumble on Mr. Right or both.
Men have somewhat figured it out because as future breadwinners, they had to secure whatever their hands would find to do first and rent a cube to start life in then either get married to an objective lady who wished to grow with him or find a better job that would make him comfortable enough and then move on.
So which one should come first ideally as we continue to ponder over the two. Experience has taught some of us very hard lessons that I may share with you.
If I decided to wait till I found a job, I would have missed the loving and kind spouse I have today and could possibly be crying with regrets and making wishes as I see others driving bid cars yet they know nothing about peace in their houses or possibly I wouldn’t be married at all on a personal evaluation of my personality.
I decided to get married soon after school without a job and both I and my spouse living a simple and almost futureless life but one thing was for sure, encouragement and loving support from each other as we engaged God in every step on our way. Had I chose a job first, many suitors would have passed me by including my spouse who had absolutely nothing but care and love for me.
Am I saying you should look for a husband first and not a job, absolutely not. All I want us to understand is that every one of us has a distinct life ahead of them and shouldn’t emulate what others do as our piece of cake.
If I had an opportunity to get a job faster than a spouse, I would embrace it with all my might and likewise to if the spouse came first because whichever precedes the other will always complement the other by all means.
I know of couples who helped each other find jobs and have made it in life in big ways and currently own mansions and companies because they toke what was ahead of them amicably and that was each other’s strengths and weaknesses appreciated and made to flourish through thick and thin.
Always make wise decisions you will never regret but make consultations before engaging in either or. It is proper to talk to experienced couples and mature adults who inspire you and pray t God to give you wisdom in choosing what is right or acceptable.
